The good news is is that it's not a first person shooter game, because everyone born after 2001 will refer to Halo and Call of Duty as the best multiplayer games, when they've never even heard of Timesplitters. Have you played Future Perfect? I'm going to name my first born son Cortez because of that game.
Anyways, let's talk about the greatest multiplayer game of all time, WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Party Game$
(all further pictures used in this post are from IGN)First off, you know the game is going to be amazing when the opening cinematic is a Japanese guy jerking it to the game's logo on his TV from the safety of his own living room.
Yes, you heard me right. Masturbation? In my video games?
Well, he's technically scratching his ass, but any male who has ever masturbated ever in the history of mankind knows that if you're lying that way, and moving your arm in that fashion and position, you're masturbating. NO ONE SCRATCHES THEIR ASS LIKE THAT, NOT EVEN THE GAYS.
The 2nd best part of the opening cinematic is that Nintendo designed like 10-15 different opening cinematic for this game that are randomly chosen and played every time you start up the game or access the title screen. So when you start the game up, you might not see the guy getting his strokes in before dinner.
I remember the first time me and my group of friends saw that cinematic that day, we were all freshmen in high school so to see someone jerking it was new and exciting to us. We had to go through 20 different cinematic before we were able to see it again and we laughed just as hard the 2nd, 3rd, 25th time we saw it. Any time a new person joined the group to play the game with us, we had to sit through and wait until we found the 'Jap guy jerking it' opening and it was never, ever worth the hype that we made it out to be.
"Can we just play the fucking game now?"
"Naw dude you gotta see this it's fucking hilari-GOD FUCKING DAMNNIT WARIO JUST SHOW IT TO ME"
(finally happens after 10 minutes)
"That's it? Are you kidding me? We're no longer friends"
So this game is basically two games in one. The first game a shitty port of the original WarioWare game for Game Boy Advance (which is still definitely one of the best GBA games ever, prove me wrong). Here's a brief description of how to play the game (as taken from Wikipedia) so that way I don't provide a long-winded story and get sidetracked
"Collections of short, simple games ("microgames") presented in quick succession. Each of these microgames lasts about three to five seconds and must be completed, or else a life will be lost. For example, there is a microgame where the player must zap a spaceship; in another, Wario must collect coins in a Pac-Man-like maze. The numerous microgames are linked together randomly and steadily increase in speed and difficulty as the player progresses. On each level, players are allowed three losses only. Boss games appear frequently; the player must complete these to regain a lost life (with a maximum of four)"So there's about 200+ different games in which you have to figure out shit fast in order not to lose. It's basically a puzzle game with OCD + ADHD and has an obsession with Japanese culture and Nintendo games.
The only aspect where the Gamecube version fails and I say it's a shitty port because they replaced all of the individual art styles for each level and character and tossed them out the window and replaced them with an ugly boombox shell. They also took almost all of the extra features that were unlocked through playing the games and getting high scores. Which is a fucking shame because most of those games were amazing.
I mean, have you ever played Paper Plane? That shit puts any iPod/Pad app to shame with its simple, yet addictive gameplay. Think of it like Doodle Jump, except you're steering a paper airplane's descent until you crash. Ambient music plays in the background as the speed slowly increases point by point. It goes so fast that you start to lose control, your turns get a little bit wider, you don't know which way is left or right anymore. Did you blink? You're already dead.
The amount of points you get also doubles as a measurement of how many sexual partners you will have in your lifetime.
That was one out of a million features in a Game Boy Advance game that sold for $30 back in the day. People will pay Apple $2.99 to play a game just like Paper Plane on their $299 iPhone that will be obsolete in a year. What a fucking world we live in.
Okay, now that I'm done having my Paper Plane solodolocirclejerk, I'll get back to the best part of the WW:MPG$, which is the multiplayer suite.
First off, the game makes you create a profile for every new person playing the game, which consists of your name condensed into 5 letters and your gender. The reason this is important because depending on the gender you picked, and when you win a game, the game will refer to you as 'Big' or 'Lil'. So if I said I was a male, I would be Big RG, if I was a female (which I often which I was, (lol jk)) I would be Lil' RG. What this basically means is you can be Big/Lil' penis, balls, dick, scrote, vag, vulva, boobs, poop, shit etc. If you put any of these names you are automatically exiled from the game by your peers for being a pervert. We are playing a video game, not having an gay orgy at Satan's house.
There are several different multiplayer modes in this suite. Ranging from average, to mind-blowing, skull-fucking, anal-breaching, chaotic greatness. I'll provide a brief description of the lesser modes before getting into the good stuff.
Jimmy's Survival Fever - A basic survival mode. You and up to 3 buddies see how many microgames you can complete before you physically/mentally shit the bed because of how blindingly fast it goes after like 15 microgames.
I've always assumed the the crowds were clones of Mr. Game & Watch. He was so badass in Melee/BrawlWario's Outta My Way - An ass-backwards survival mode. One person tries to complete as many microgames as possible while 1-3 other people try to block your vision/shatter your concentration by using their on-screen avatars to distract you. The repetitive character sounds and longevity of the game make it sub-par compared to other modes.
Can you see anything? TOUGH SHIT FAGGOT.Orbulon's Fucking Penis-Head Flashlight Game - A cooperative game to balance out all of the soul and mind raping competitive play. One player tries to complete microgames while the other 1-3 players use flashlights to illuminate the screen. This does not work very well 99.999993% of the time. I don't know what my highest score is in that. It's probably like 5.
I didn't include a picture of this game. Fuck that shit that game is terrible.
Dr. Crygor's Balloon Burst Game -This is another simple game as well. You and up to 3 other people take turns completing microgames while the other people mash the A button in order to pump a balloon until it explodes. Whoever is under the balloon while it explodes loses and everyone else wins. Which is pretty shitty. You would think after the balloon explodes that that person would be eliminated and the remaining would play on until there was only one left. Dr. Crygor says 'Fuck that'. When he creates balloons, he makes them so that they can retain so much air/water/semen that when it bursts, the explosion is so large that anything within a 10 mile radius is instantly raped then killed.
(no caption needed, surprisingly (additional text in parentheses))
Dribble & Spitz's BINGO. IN. SPAAAAAACE - This game is somewhat difficult to understand but once you get it you realize how long it take to play a full round of this. I'm not even going to bother explaining it. Here's a youtube video of two guys playing. Definitely not the strongest game.
9-Volt's e-Reader card game - First off, this game actually references and uses (in-game) the e-Reader peripheral released for the GBA back in 2002. I actually have a pretty complete set of e-Reader cards that I'm sort of proud of, but that's basically being proud of having a mild case of herpes instead of a severe case.
Anyways, in this game, you and up to 3 friends take turns drawing e-Reader cards of microgames and adding them to a pile until someone draws the card that forces to play all of the microgame cards drawn in the pile. If the person completes all the games, they win those cards and they are added to their own personal pile. If the person loses, all of the cards that were drawn and their personal pile cards are placed in the discard pile, and whoever is able to clear a sequence of cards gets all the cards that were drawn and whatever's in the discard pile. Whoever has the most cards once all the cards are gone wins.
ALSO, AS IF YOU WEREN'T CONFUSED ENOUGH, while the person is playing the series of games, the other players move their on-screen avatars to each others' piles of cards because you can steal cards one by one if your timing is good enough. This is where the game gets tricky. Alliances are formed and broken. Friendships are pushed and tested. The words 'Jew' and 'Fucker' are thrown about.
If there are cards left over at the end and no one has drawn a 'play' card. Everyone competes in a 4-player microgame, which are the easily the best part of this entire game (and will be covered later on in this post)
You don't need to be able to read Japanese to know that some serious mental warfare is going on
Mona's Listen to the Doctor - This is where shit starts to get real interesting. This is where the game breaks the 4th wall and tries to incorporate the actual physical beings playing the game into the game. It's kind of like the whole Kinect thing on Xbox, except at this point in time everyone already knew it was a gimmick. That being said, you have to play this game with a open0minded group of people, or better yet, drunks. Playing this with people who aren't familiar with WarioWare or not fond of you will earn you a trip on the Knuckle Train to Fist Planet
You and up to 4 friends visit a doctor's office where the doctor looks like something ripped out of Crank Yankers. Yayyyyyyy, I like spaghetti. He takes each of you into his office one by one and asks to you to complete a microgame while performing a random task in physical reality. Examples include:
Anyways, in this game, you and up to 3 friends take turns drawing e-Reader cards of microgames and adding them to a pile until someone draws the card that forces to play all of the microgame cards drawn in the pile. If the person completes all the games, they win those cards and they are added to their own personal pile. If the person loses, all of the cards that were drawn and their personal pile cards are placed in the discard pile, and whoever is able to clear a sequence of cards gets all the cards that were drawn and whatever's in the discard pile. Whoever has the most cards once all the cards are gone wins.
ALSO, AS IF YOU WEREN'T CONFUSED ENOUGH, while the person is playing the series of games, the other players move their on-screen avatars to each others' piles of cards because you can steal cards one by one if your timing is good enough. This is where the game gets tricky. Alliances are formed and broken. Friendships are pushed and tested. The words 'Jew' and 'Fucker' are thrown about.
If there are cards left over at the end and no one has drawn a 'play' card. Everyone competes in a 4-player microgame, which are the easily the best part of this entire game (and will be covered later on in this post)
You don't need to be able to read Japanese to know that some serious mental warfare is going onMona's Listen to the Doctor - This is where shit starts to get real interesting. This is where the game breaks the 4th wall and tries to incorporate the actual physical beings playing the game into the game. It's kind of like the whole Kinect thing on Xbox, except at this point in time everyone already knew it was a gimmick. That being said, you have to play this game with a open0minded group of people, or better yet, drunks. Playing this with people who aren't familiar with WarioWare or not fond of you will earn you a trip on the Knuckle Train to Fist Planet
You and up to 4 friends visit a doctor's office where the doctor looks like something ripped out of Crank Yankers. Yayyyyyyy, I like spaghetti. He takes each of you into his office one by one and asks to you to complete a microgame while performing a random task in physical reality. Examples include:
'While winking
'While standing on one leg'
'While reciting the alphabet backwards'
'While inserting your ring finger in your dog's anus'
'While standing on one leg'
'While reciting the alphabet backwards'
'While inserting your ring finger in your dog's anus'
Then after you have completed the game, it is up to your peers to determine whether you completed the game up to the doctor's standards and you vote by mashing the shit out of the A button as a group, which I affectionately refer to as 'getting claps'. Getting no claps is easily the most detrimental thing that can happen to your self esteem, and it will happen to you eventually. It is best to prepare for rejection now.
Your group may make up unspoken rules about voting and performing the tasks. For example, taking your turn too seriously and clearing the game perfectly while doing the task perfectly and then gloating about it after will earn you no claps, don't be such an egotistical prick. Making any sort of Billy Joel reference will earn you no claps, don't you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself. Complaining about getting no claps will earn you...no claps.
Then, after a few rounds, the game calculates who is the winner based on claps. Although this process has been proven to be fucked up, because if everyone gets no claps the whole fucking game, the game randomly chooses a winner. That's some sort of wizardry and dark magic there.
Any conflict can be solved by a game of Wobbly Bobbly. Wobbly Bobbly can create friendship and love and breed hate and violence. Chuck Norris doesn't play Wobbly Bobbly, he re-enacts it in real-life with Saxton Hale and two of their closest friends using real turtles and guns. Wobbly Bobbly is the ultimate test of testicular fortitude and vaginal integrity.
A game of Wobbly Bobbly begins with you and up to 3 of your friends waiting on your own individual turtle. Only 4 can play at the same time, everyone else that wants to play must bask in its greatness until it is their turn to play. Once everyone is ready, the multiplayer microgame begins.
Whoever wins the round, gets a chance to play one of the 200-something microgames. If that person completes the microgame, all opposing players get an extra turtle added to their stack. IF the person fails the microgame, they recieve a smaller turtle as punishment. May God have mercy on your soul if you end up with a small turtle.
After turtles have been added, they flip over and the players must balance on their stacks of turtles for 10 seconds. If the player falls off their stack of turtles, they are eliminated and become a turtle. Once you become a turtle, you can run around between the remaining players' stacks and try to knock them off. As a turtle, you are also allowed to play in the multiplayer games, and if you win, everyone else remaining gets a turtle. So the last person standing on their stack of turtles is the winner and becomes "Grandmaster of the Universe For All Eternity"
Here's a full video of Wobbly Bobbly in action. It's in Spanish too, so it's even better
As mentioned before, these mulitplayer microgames are easily the highlight of the entire WarioWare disc. They are like microgames but have been expanded a little bit to allow for 4 people to play at the same time. There are 16 different games:
1.) Tease the Cat - Use what I assume is a tampon on a stick to wake up a sleeping cat. You flail on the Control Stick wildly until the cat wakes up and picks one. You can either making a poking motion or wave it side to side like you're a windshield wiper. Keep in mind there's up to 4 flailing tampons going at the same time. It's quite a sight to behold but goddamn is it weird looking.
2.) Don't Get Sucked Up By Her Nose - You and your friends assume the roles of small creatures known as "Freds" and your goal is to survive as a giant Japanese anime girl uses huge boogers to suck you up and destroy the ground you're walking on. As the platform grows smaller and smaller as it is eroded away by boogers, you and your friends jockey for position and pray for death to come quickly or not at all. If this isn't fetish material I don't know what is.
3.) Pick The Rotating Nose - A nose sits in the middle screen and rotates at varying speeds. You and your friends have your own individual hands with two fingers extended that you have to fit in the nose. Each failed attempt makes the nose go slower, so basically if you miss the person next to you will win.
4.) Jump Rope - Pretty simple premise. 2-4 people take turns jumping rope until 1 person is left. This game has to potential from lighthearted fun to SHIT IS GETTING REAL SERIOUS, RIGHT NOW, in seconds. There are two other modded versions of this game that are actually part of the multiplayer suite of games.
5.) Pick A Chicken - Everyone picks a chicken that they think will lay a golden egg. I always pick the smallest one because I'm convinced that one of these days that it will lay a golden egg that is proportionally larger than its actual body. Science will cease to exist after that happens
Fuck science
6.)Find the Nest Egg - The worse game. Everyone has a pointer and you pick various spots in a room trying to find a 'nest egg', whatever the fuck that means. Apparently a nest egg is a large sum of money, fuck me right? First one to find the large sum of money wins. I hate this game because I never win
7.) Get The Money- Dolla Dolla Bill Y'all. Everyone plays as a poorly drawn human being. A single dollar (indeterminate amount) bill falls from the top of the screen and everyone scrambles to catch it. You can jump on each others' heads and prevent people from moving by trapping them in the corners. This one usually ends in physical violence off-screen.
8.) Crawling Competition - An intense game whenever one knows what they're doing. Everyone plays as a man dressed in karate/Judo clothes. In order to reach the trophy in the middle, you must pull yourself across the mat by tapping A in the most ridiculous pattern known to man. If you tap A to fast, your guy just flails around like a Magikarp OD'd on speed. If you tap A too slowly, your guy crawls like a centimeter in the right direction. The best way to describe this is like it's racing turtles, except you have control over the outcome depending on your performance and the turtles are actually Asian men.
9.)Stop the Alarm Clock - An alarm clock with a creepy face on it rests in the middle of the screen. Each player has a hand ready to stop it once it goes off, because the first one to catch it wins. Shouting like an idiot to make your friends prematurely launch their hands is encouraged and will happen in at least one play through with me.
10.) Slingshot Bucket - Everyone has a slingshot which you use to knock down a tin can in the middle of the screen. Basically whoever discovers the perfect pattern to holding/shooting wins the game.
The can is blue so that means RED IS FUCKED
11.) Stopwatch Rally - Everyone's holding a stopwatch. The game tells you what time it wants you to stop the stopwatch at. The closest person to the set time wins. The same rule about shouting for the alarm clock game also applies here. Fuck the police.
Idk whether it's supposed to be peer (p-err) or peer (pier)
12.) Shot Put - Everyone lines up to see who can shot put the farthest. If you fail hard enough you can throw the ball backward instead of forward and no one in your group will ever let you live it down. Ever.
13.) Ballerina Maze Navigation - Everyone is a ballerina hoping to pirouette their way through a dark maze. The paths are only illuminated by moving around. First one to get to the door in the middle wins
14.) Catch The Fly - Everybody mashes A in hopes that they catch a fly in their chopsticks. It basically ends up being more luck than skill or dexterity.
15.) Find the Idol - Everybody takes turn trying to find a Japanese 'idol' hiding in a pile of what I assume is pubes. It's Japanese. I'm probably right.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
16.) Don't Touch Me - I put this one last because its' the best one out of all the games. Everyone plays as a weird rabbit looking creature. Your goal is to avoid the giant female weird looking rabbit creature and be the last one standing. The area that you stand in gets gradually smaller and smaller as the female rabbit goes around trying to get you out. If you get touched, EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY IS RAPED The optimal way to play this is with this Busta Rhymes' 'Dont Touch Me' remix playing in the background, full blast.
DON'T TOUCH ME NIGGA (YOU MIGHT BURN YOURSELF)
YEAH, SO THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME RIGHT. GOOD THING THERE'S ONE MORE THING THAT I LEFT OUT
WAIT, THERE'S STILL MORE TO THIS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
THERE'S SOMETHING BETTER THAN WOBBLY BOBBLY?
YEAH, THERE IS
I GOT 3 WORDS FOR YOU
PAPER. PLANE. RACE.
THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS. YOU AND 3 OTHER FRIENDS CAN LIVE THE PAPER PLANE DREAM TOGETHER. WELL YOU'RE NOT REALLY LIVING THE DREAM, YOU'RE RACING TO SEE WHO HAS THE BIGGEST DICK OUT OF EVERYONE. BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE SIZE OF YOUR DICK IS MEASURED BY A GAME WHERE YOU RACE PAPER PLANES. IT'S LIKE THAT SONG WHERE THEY FLY LIKE PAPER AND GET HIGH LIKE PLANES. JUST LIKE JESSE JAMES WHEN I'M SITTING ON TRAINS. FUCK THAT'S AWESOME.
A GAME LIKE THIS AWESOME SHOULD HAVE THOUSANDS, NO MILLIONS OF VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE OF PEOPLE RACING EACH OTHER, BUT ALAS, THERE'S ONLY ONE. THAT'S A FUCKING TRAVESTY. IT'S ALL IN FUCKING JAPANESE TOO. JAPANESE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLY PLANES, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF PEARL HARBOR? THE JAPANESE WEREN'T "KAMIKAZE" THAT'S FUCKING HORSESHIT, THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FLY PLANES AND THEY JUST CRASHED INTO BOATS ON ACCIDENT. I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ASIAN PERSON DRIVE A CAR. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. POLICE ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO ARREST DRUNK DRIVERS WHEN THEY SHOULD BE ARRESTING OLD ASIAN WOMEN DRIVING ON THE HIGHWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE THE GREATER THREAT.
Yeah, I really don't know how to follow something like that. Post's done...?
Your group may make up unspoken rules about voting and performing the tasks. For example, taking your turn too seriously and clearing the game perfectly while doing the task perfectly and then gloating about it after will earn you no claps, don't be such an egotistical prick. Making any sort of Billy Joel reference will earn you no claps, don't you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself. Complaining about getting no claps will earn you...no claps.Then, after a few rounds, the game calculates who is the winner based on claps. Although this process has been proven to be fucked up, because if everyone gets no claps the whole fucking game, the game randomly chooses a winner. That's some sort of wizardry and dark magic there.
And then last but certainly not least,
The be-all, end-all mode.
Wobbly. Fucking. Bobbly.
The be-all, end-all mode.
Wobbly. Fucking. Bobbly.
Any conflict can be solved by a game of Wobbly Bobbly. Wobbly Bobbly can create friendship and love and breed hate and violence. Chuck Norris doesn't play Wobbly Bobbly, he re-enacts it in real-life with Saxton Hale and two of their closest friends using real turtles and guns. Wobbly Bobbly is the ultimate test of testicular fortitude and vaginal integrity.
A game of Wobbly Bobbly begins with you and up to 3 of your friends waiting on your own individual turtle. Only 4 can play at the same time, everyone else that wants to play must bask in its greatness until it is their turn to play. Once everyone is ready, the multiplayer microgame begins.
Whoever wins the round, gets a chance to play one of the 200-something microgames. If that person completes the microgame, all opposing players get an extra turtle added to their stack. IF the person fails the microgame, they recieve a smaller turtle as punishment. May God have mercy on your soul if you end up with a small turtle.
After turtles have been added, they flip over and the players must balance on their stacks of turtles for 10 seconds. If the player falls off their stack of turtles, they are eliminated and become a turtle. Once you become a turtle, you can run around between the remaining players' stacks and try to knock them off. As a turtle, you are also allowed to play in the multiplayer games, and if you win, everyone else remaining gets a turtle. So the last person standing on their stack of turtles is the winner and becomes "Grandmaster of the Universe For All Eternity"
Here's a full video of Wobbly Bobbly in action. It's in Spanish too, so it's even better
1.) Tease the Cat - Use what I assume is a tampon on a stick to wake up a sleeping cat. You flail on the Control Stick wildly until the cat wakes up and picks one. You can either making a poking motion or wave it side to side like you're a windshield wiper. Keep in mind there's up to 4 flailing tampons going at the same time. It's quite a sight to behold but goddamn is it weird looking.
2.) Don't Get Sucked Up By Her Nose - You and your friends assume the roles of small creatures known as "Freds" and your goal is to survive as a giant Japanese anime girl uses huge boogers to suck you up and destroy the ground you're walking on. As the platform grows smaller and smaller as it is eroded away by boogers, you and your friends jockey for position and pray for death to come quickly or not at all. If this isn't fetish material I don't know what is.
3.) Pick The Rotating Nose - A nose sits in the middle screen and rotates at varying speeds. You and your friends have your own individual hands with two fingers extended that you have to fit in the nose. Each failed attempt makes the nose go slower, so basically if you miss the person next to you will win.
4.) Jump Rope - Pretty simple premise. 2-4 people take turns jumping rope until 1 person is left. This game has to potential from lighthearted fun to SHIT IS GETTING REAL SERIOUS, RIGHT NOW, in seconds. There are two other modded versions of this game that are actually part of the multiplayer suite of games.
5.) Pick A Chicken - Everyone picks a chicken that they think will lay a golden egg. I always pick the smallest one because I'm convinced that one of these days that it will lay a golden egg that is proportionally larger than its actual body. Science will cease to exist after that happens
Fuck science7.) Get The Money- Dolla Dolla Bill Y'all. Everyone plays as a poorly drawn human being. A single dollar (indeterminate amount) bill falls from the top of the screen and everyone scrambles to catch it. You can jump on each others' heads and prevent people from moving by trapping them in the corners. This one usually ends in physical violence off-screen.
8.) Crawling Competition - An intense game whenever one knows what they're doing. Everyone plays as a man dressed in karate/Judo clothes. In order to reach the trophy in the middle, you must pull yourself across the mat by tapping A in the most ridiculous pattern known to man. If you tap A to fast, your guy just flails around like a Magikarp OD'd on speed. If you tap A too slowly, your guy crawls like a centimeter in the right direction. The best way to describe this is like it's racing turtles, except you have control over the outcome depending on your performance and the turtles are actually Asian men.
9.)Stop the Alarm Clock - An alarm clock with a creepy face on it rests in the middle of the screen. Each player has a hand ready to stop it once it goes off, because the first one to catch it wins. Shouting like an idiot to make your friends prematurely launch their hands is encouraged and will happen in at least one play through with me.
10.) Slingshot Bucket - Everyone has a slingshot which you use to knock down a tin can in the middle of the screen. Basically whoever discovers the perfect pattern to holding/shooting wins the game.
The can is blue so that means RED IS FUCKED11.) Stopwatch Rally - Everyone's holding a stopwatch. The game tells you what time it wants you to stop the stopwatch at. The closest person to the set time wins. The same rule about shouting for the alarm clock game also applies here. Fuck the police.
Idk whether it's supposed to be peer (p-err) or peer (pier)12.) Shot Put - Everyone lines up to see who can shot put the farthest. If you fail hard enough you can throw the ball backward instead of forward and no one in your group will ever let you live it down. Ever.
13.) Ballerina Maze Navigation - Everyone is a ballerina hoping to pirouette their way through a dark maze. The paths are only illuminated by moving around. First one to get to the door in the middle wins
14.) Catch The Fly - Everybody mashes A in hopes that they catch a fly in their chopsticks. It basically ends up being more luck than skill or dexterity.
15.) Find the Idol - Everybody takes turn trying to find a Japanese 'idol' hiding in a pile of what I assume is pubes. It's Japanese. I'm probably right.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?16.) Don't Touch Me - I put this one last because its' the best one out of all the games. Everyone plays as a weird rabbit looking creature. Your goal is to avoid the giant female weird looking rabbit creature and be the last one standing. The area that you stand in gets gradually smaller and smaller as the female rabbit goes around trying to get you out. If you get touched, EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY IS RAPED The optimal way to play this is with this Busta Rhymes' 'Dont Touch Me' remix playing in the background, full blast.
DON'T TOUCH ME NIGGA (YOU MIGHT BURN YOURSELF)There are 3 other notable modes left in the WarioWare multiplayer suite.
4 Player Jump Forever - You and 3 other people jump rope together to see how many times you jump in a row before that one friend that you have that's a little bit slower than the rest of the group fucks up
One Controller Jump Forever - You and up to 15 (yeah, 16 fucking people total) take turns jumping rope and who ever is the last one standing is Champion of Jump Rope and is allowed to have sex with the two hottest women in a 20 mile radius of this event.
One Controller Survivor - You and up to 15 people take turning passing the controller and completing microgames and who ever the last person standing wins. Much like One Controller Jump Rope, everything gets fucking compromised by that one asshole who holds the controller for too long, whether it be by accident or on purpose and fucks someone up. Not like that's happened to me or anything. Not like that's the story of my fucking life, or anything.
4 Player Jump Forever - You and 3 other people jump rope together to see how many times you jump in a row before that one friend that you have that's a little bit slower than the rest of the group fucks up
One Controller Jump Forever - You and up to 15 (yeah, 16 fucking people total) take turns jumping rope and who ever is the last one standing is Champion of Jump Rope and is allowed to have sex with the two hottest women in a 20 mile radius of this event.
One Controller Survivor - You and up to 15 people take turning passing the controller and completing microgames and who ever the last person standing wins. Much like One Controller Jump Rope, everything gets fucking compromised by that one asshole who holds the controller for too long, whether it be by accident or on purpose and fucks someone up. Not like that's happened to me or anything. Not like that's the story of my fucking life, or anything.
YEAH, SO THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME RIGHT. GOOD THING THERE'S ONE MORE THING THAT I LEFT OUT
WAIT, THERE'S STILL MORE TO THIS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
THERE'S SOMETHING BETTER THAN WOBBLY BOBBLY?
YEAH, THERE IS
I GOT 3 WORDS FOR YOU
PAPER. PLANE. RACE.
THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS. YOU AND 3 OTHER FRIENDS CAN LIVE THE PAPER PLANE DREAM TOGETHER. WELL YOU'RE NOT REALLY LIVING THE DREAM, YOU'RE RACING TO SEE WHO HAS THE BIGGEST DICK OUT OF EVERYONE. BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE SIZE OF YOUR DICK IS MEASURED BY A GAME WHERE YOU RACE PAPER PLANES. IT'S LIKE THAT SONG WHERE THEY FLY LIKE PAPER AND GET HIGH LIKE PLANES. JUST LIKE JESSE JAMES WHEN I'M SITTING ON TRAINS. FUCK THAT'S AWESOME.
A GAME LIKE THIS AWESOME SHOULD HAVE THOUSANDS, NO MILLIONS OF VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE OF PEOPLE RACING EACH OTHER, BUT ALAS, THERE'S ONLY ONE. THAT'S A FUCKING TRAVESTY. IT'S ALL IN FUCKING JAPANESE TOO. JAPANESE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLY PLANES, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF PEARL HARBOR? THE JAPANESE WEREN'T "KAMIKAZE" THAT'S FUCKING HORSESHIT, THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FLY PLANES AND THEY JUST CRASHED INTO BOATS ON ACCIDENT. I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ASIAN PERSON DRIVE A CAR. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. POLICE ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO ARREST DRUNK DRIVERS WHEN THEY SHOULD BE ARRESTING OLD ASIAN WOMEN DRIVING ON THE HIGHWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE THE GREATER THREAT.
Yeah, I really don't know how to follow something like that. Post's done...?
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